June 2022
June! What?! Like my mom says “hold onto your hat Harriet, it just keeps going faster and faster!” And yes, these days/weeks/months seem to be just flying by am I right?
I am really feeling this this month, with only a few short weeks left before we close up the doors to the Den and 212 space. I have so many mixed emotions about this transition: relief, grief, excitement, sadness, new creative energy, and at the same time a depilation and exhaustion. But this is life, is it not? This fluctuation of energy, experience, and emotion. And as it all ebbs and flows I keep repeating to myself “ just feel it all woman, just feel it all”
And that has become my mantra this month. “Feel it all." Soften to it all. Push nothing away.
I find it can be so easy to push away the challenge and the sorrow of our experience. That as humans we always strive to be in the joyful, productive, full spaces of our lives. And - while yes, it is more enjoyable to exist in these spaces, it is not realistic for us to be there at all times. The challenges, the loss, the hardships are part of our experience of being and are so valuable to our development. However, we tend to want to push through, or past those challenges- because, yeah, that shit sucks and is uncomfortable.
What I have found over the years is that when I don’t allow myself to fully be present in those times or feel those feels, I am cutting myself off from myself. I am suppressing feelings, emotions, and sensations that need to be experienced in order to come to an understanding of what is needed to heal and be whole.
So, I continue to remind myself of this as I move through this transition of downsizing our space. As I look at the beautiful space I designed and built and say goodbye, I allow myself to feel the sadness, the disappointment. And I have found that by allowing myself to feel it all my heart has seemed to expand. I have noticed that on the flip side, with my family, my loved ones, our community members and teachings I am able to truly feel joy, love, and happiness in such an immensely tangible way. I am able to recognize it in the moment and honor it.
So, my offering this month is just that. Be open to fully recognizing what you are going through. Feel all that you need to feel to fully move through. Cry when you need to cry, laugh when you need to laugh. Do your best not to barrel past this experience of being and you just might find some of the relief that is needed in this crazy world of ours.