November 2021
November is upon us, wow how is it November already?! Woah!
I always feel this internal shift happening in November, a shift calling for snuggling in, warming up and preparing for the season ahead.
This month, the theme I am sitting with is awareness and giving myself a break. In day-to-day conversations with loved ones and community members, a common thread continues come up: that we’re all experiencing an overall exhaustion and fatigue and that it’s coupled with a desire to minimize the feelings or “should it” away… for example, a common conversation goes something like this:
“Hi! How’s it going?”
“Hi! Oh, I’m okay…”
“Yeah? Really, because with all this craziness, I’m not sure I am okay.. Are you okay?”
“You know what, I’m not...I’m so exhausted and having a hard time, but I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way. I have so much to be grateful for…”.
Through these shared experiences, I have come to realize that in general, on some level, everyone is not necessarily okay, and yet our societal norms do not give us the space to admit it and to not be okay. So, we don’t talk about it, we criticize ourselves and end up feeling guilty or inadequate, and then alienate ourselves because we think we are the only ones feeling this way.
The reality is that the current state we are all living in does not promote a life of ease or balance. The lives that we have all been living for the last two years have added a huge element of stress to our most basic levels of existence. In essence, we have all been in one way or another living in survival mode as opposed to a basis of simply maintaining balance, and on a basic primal level that is f’ing with us more than I think we are allowing ourselves to be aware of.
After some brief research, I learned that after a traumatic or stressful event it takes the body 20-30 minutes to recover from the rush of adrenaline, our fight or flight hormones, and the physical effects of these hormones can remain in the body for up to an hour. This means that the sympathetic nervous system is kicked into high alert; it’s our primal mechanism that helps our bodies react if there is immediate danger. Once the body is out of this fight or flight stage, the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in to help restore homeostasis and balance.
But… what happens when the threat is long lasting… like almost two years long lasting?! Ah! The whole system goes out of whack! Our fight or flight hormones continue to fire, our adrenal glands get overworked, and our parasympathetic nervous system can’t maintain balance because of the constant state of unknown and fight or flight hormones flooding the body. In other words, our bodies are not meant to live in chronic states of trauma and stress. However, that is what is happening and on a widespread level, to everyone.
As humans, we have the benefit and the curse of being extremely adaptable. So after the initial trauma and the lasting effects over last year, we began to adapt to this new state of living as our “new normal.” However, this way of living is NOT NORMAL! And even though we are convincing ourselves that we are okay, our sympathetic nervous systems are still being put to the ultimate extremes.
So why am I sharing this with you? Honestly, it is to bring awareness and a reminder that this is:
1) Not a normal state of living.
2) This has never happened before on a global level.
3) It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to give yourself a break.
Whether we truly realize it or not, we have all been living under a new unbelievable reality and on top of that we have had to learn how to manage our old lives to fit into this new one. So everything you do has had to change and when you think about it, that has been SO MUCH WORK! So much work for yourself as a human being, a caregiver, a student, an employee, a boss and so much more...and that work is exhausting… So no wonder you are exhausted, or you may have more anxiety than before, or you feel like you can’t catch up. And on top of that, our culture asks for us to act like we’re doing just peachy, if not perfectly. Well pardon my American, but fuck that.
And that is why I am taking on the mantra of awareness and giving myself a break. Awareness that wow, so much has happened, and I have done everything I can to adapt, adjust and survive. It’s okay when I'm okay, and it’s okay when I’m not too. And from this awareness, I take pause and give myself permission to take a break, to not grasp after the ideal of perfectionism, and in turn open my awareness to the fact that practically everyone I come into contact with is just doing their best to survive right now, so to offer kindness and a break to others as well.
So this month, I encourage you to slow down. Acknowledge your current situation and state of being and give yourself a break. Utilize the powerful teachings of yoga to practice being present, being aware and to help calm your nervous system. Mental health is so important. It is important to talk about, seek support, and incredibly important for us to de-stigmatize and normalize the conversation about it. I myself talk to a therapist multiple times a month and it is vitally important to my overall health and well being. There are many different ways and formats to seek help: Talk to your doctor, ask Google, join a support group; there are a lot of avenues out there to help and some that are free or offer a sliding scale.
I love you. I see you.
Peace,