April 2023
April has come and is almost past, ushering in the spring days that feel cool and promising.
April is always a muddy one in my household with lots of memories and muck to move through. This month I’ve been reflecting on two concepts that were shared with me over the years. The first is the concept of negative bias. “The negativity bias is the notion that negative things (emotions, thoughts, events) tend to have a larger effect on our mental state and well-being than positive things.”* There is a tendency for many of us to lean towards the negative and dwell on it longer than needed. Whenever I think of this concept it brings me to my second reflection, a lifelong mantra from my father in law who passed 10 years ago this month. He would say “Nothing is easy, but attitude is everything.”
To me, these two concepts go hand in hand. As humans, constantly fighting the ego and our own significance in the world, there is a tendency to lean towards that which creates more sensation in the body and mind. Negative experience or thought creates an energy that is not only stimulating but also quite self confirmatory. This leads to the assumption and illusion that in order to feel things they have to be hard or challenging.
The quote from my FIL has always helped pull me out of that mental loop. Truth, nothing is easy. Truth, everything in life worth having takes some good ol’ fashion elbow grease, good relationships, careers, and mental/physical/ spiritual health. It is not always easy, but it can be beautiful when you allow yourself to stand back and look at what truly is.
Our attitude towards the challenges and hardships of life are everything. We have the choice of seeing what comes up in our lives as happening to us or for us.
My encouragement as I share this monthly mantra is to take time to pause and observe our mental tendencies. Do we tend to lean into the negative and dwell on it? Can we pull ourselves back enough to see beyond the issue at hand, and view it instead as a gift of knowledge and awareness? Can we see how beautiful this experience of being truly is?
Love love love,