July 2024

As I approached the birth of my second child all kinds of emotions, excitements and fears began to rise up inside my body and mind. As these feelings were arising my mother kept saying the same thing to me over and over.

You can’t step into the same river twice.

At first, I had no idea what she was saying. However on the morning of June 24th as my labor started I began to realize what she meant.

When I brought our son T into the world it was a very challenging time, in the world with Covid but also in the physical sense. I had a traumatic birth followed by an even more traumatic physical condition that left me extremely ill for weeks and launched me into a very difficult postpartum journey.

The majority of my fear stemmed from this previous experience, as I moved toward birth and what would follow. It wasn't until I began the process for the second time that I realized the meaning of the Kohan my mom kept sharing with me.

Every experience is uniquely its own. It can not be replicated. We can not enter into a new experience, even a similar one,  as the same person as before because we now have more knowledge, more wisdom and more awareness. Each experience will bring its own challenges, its own opportunities for work, reflection and surrender.  My May mantra stated “The past is there to inform, not define” who we are and where we are going, and I feel like this is in full alignment with what my mom was telling me.

So as I morph into this newly unfolding experience of being my mantra is the words from my mother. “You can’t step into the same river twice”.

I know the truth of this now. My past experience helped me make new choices and decisions that created the opportunity for me to set myself up for success. Just because the last time I stepped into the river was so difficult, it made it easier for me this time because I could make choices to support my needs in a way I didn't know before.

With all this being said I am so happy to share that in the wee hours of the morning on June 25th, with ease and rest and a lot of hard work we welcomed our newest love into the world. 

I am overjoyed to introduce to the community Callan Raine Broom McClowry.  “Cal” has been named after our mothers, Carol Lynn and Lorraine, the women who taught and instilled in us knowledge and awareness of deep unconditional love, compassion, friendship and above all else the importance of respect for self and others. He follows in his brother’s footsteps who was named in love after both of our fathers.

I am happy to report that Cal and I are healthy in body and mind and recovering all snuggled in at home.

Lastly, I want to share that being able to share my pregnancy and be present in the studio teaching and practicing with you all was a huge part of healing my trauma from my pregnancy and postpartum experience during the pandemic. Community has always been such a comfort and sacred space and being with you all helped to create what my pediatrician called a “corrective experience”. Thank you for all of your love and support along the way.

I love you all!

Peace,
Margot 💛